Chick Talk

Welcome to “Chick Talk” which is based on advice I’ve shared with either my 32 year old daughter and others. The thought for this segment of my blog came from a discussion I was having with my 32 year old daughter, who lives on the east coast. She and I are very close and talk about everything, so I said to her jokingly, I should do a segment on my blog called “Chick Talk” where I’ll discuss life, love, and the pursuit of happiness from a Black woman’s perspective. I’ll share my years of wisdom, trials, tribulations and elation with the masses.

These entries are meant to help those that need to hear them. For those that feel they’re missing something from their lives. For those that just want plain and simple advice from a different point of view. I don’t intend to cure the world of its ills or cure a person of their misfortunes in life, but to share my experiences, ones that may differ from what you traditionally believe in. I want to share what I know and what I’ve learned. That’s it and that’s all. So here we are, the first entry and with hopes of many more…

TOPIC: Loneliness

You can feel lonely even when your with someone. You havta learn to be in love with yourself first before you can love someone else. Self love is vital. It doesn’t mean you won’t ever feel lonely but you can learn to be comfortable with being alone. You have to fill the void with positive energy so it doesn’t feel so desperate.

Hobbies, writing, and being in the moment help with that feeling. Don’t dwell on the past and worry about the future. Just be in the moment for a few minutes every day but leave the past in the past. Past mistakes and past problems only matter if it effects right now (present day) and if that’s the case deal with it in the now, with what you can do about it right now and not what you should’ve done way back then.

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Author’s note: Thank you for stopping by and giving this a read. Comments are always welcomed.

Please continue to practice social distancing to stay safe and healthy.

Peace and Blessings – CV Davis

© 2020 | CV Davis, All Rights Reserved

Chick Talk (10/15/20)

Chick’s advice for those that listen.

Chick Talk is the brainchild born from a conversation with my oldest daughter who currently resides in DC finishing her PhD in Psychology. She often has concerns she needs a little motherly advice about and I’m always willing to jump in and offer my two cents. I have concluded that whatever I’m telling her is helpful because she shares these tidbits of wisdom with her friends, whom I’m led to believe, appreciates my insight. Thank goodness for text messaging. It makes it so much easier to impart wisdom quickly and keep a record of it. 😊

So, let’s impart some wisdom…

Topic: Motivation

Statement/Question: I have no motivation. How do I get unstuck?

Answer: Spend the next 15- or 20-minutes meditating. Take time to breathe and focus on being in the present. You are worried about tomorrow, next week, next month, etc., which is currently out of your control. You can only deal with the now. After you meditate journal your feelings. Analyze why you’re feeling this way. Unpack those feelings and then create a reasonable Daily To-Do list. Then dig in and get-er-done!

Explanation: This is the advice I offered my daughter who is struggling to complete her dissertation for her PhD. I know earning a PhD isn’t easy because if it were, everyone would have one, so I feel her pain and frustration. She has dedicated the last six years of her life chasing this elusive goal, and she is so close, she and I, can both taste it. She just has to woman up and muscle through.

A lot of us suffer from a lack of motivation from time to time, and there appears to be no definitive cure for the downsies. It feels like someone has let all the air out of you, like a deflated balloon, and there is no energy or spark to be had. But I assure you there is something you can do that may help snap you out of your funk. Like my answer to my daughter says there’re steps to put those blues aside to address on another day and time.

1.     Mindful Meditation: It has been proven that just 3 – 10 minutes of meditation per day improves one’s health and well-being. Allowing your body and mind to join as one, and only concentrating on the breath provides the body the opportunity to slow down to be in the moment, be present.

It has been documented that mindful meditation slows the heart rate, improves blood pressure, reduces stress, and calms the spirit. So why not sit down and be still for a few minutes to reap these benefits. The beautiful thing about meditation is you can do it anywhere. You just need to be still and pay attention to your breathing.

You can find a slue of meditation videos on YouTube.com that range from one minute to hours. There’s a video waiting just for you, either guided, music, or tones, just pick what suits you best.

Just know this, the past is gone and cannot be changed. The future is out of reach and will be when it comes to pass. Today is all there is, that’s why they call it the present.

2.     Journaling: I find that when I’m having a hard day or struggling with a problem that journaling is my conscience telling me what to focus on or how to get something off my chest. Journaling is a wonderful tool that allows you to settle internal arguments and seek solutions to the many mysteries of life.

It may seem silly to journal at our age, but I have found it to be a very useful mechanism to work through my crap. Journaling helped me write a book, achieve my goals, and kept me focused on what’s important to me.

I love going back and rereading my entries from years ago. I often find myself laughing at myself about some of the things I thought way back when, and it’s good to be able to laugh at yourself.

I often think about what my children will think when I have gone from this earth. I know they will be shocked to see some of the things I’ve done and thought as I grew up. I know I’m shocked sometimes because a lot of it seems like a lifetime ago, and somebody else’s story, but they’re all true and they’re all mine.

And for those of us that may become senile as we age, journals will be a recorded record of what you did in your lifetime. If for nothing else, it will be a fantastic novel to read about you.

There are many journal apps if you don’t like handwriting or typing. Check the Apple Store or Google Play for these apps, such as Day 1, which is a journal app that will allow you to upload videos, pictures, voice memos, etc.

3.     Daily To-Do Lists: When you have huge projects, say like a dissertation to write, I find it a bit more manageable when you break it down into smaller digestible pieces. This is where a to-do list is helpful. If you create a timeline, take pieces of that timeline, and place those pieces on a to-do list, and you can check off your accomplishments of the day as you complete them.

The cool thing about to-do lists is you can see the light at the end of the tunnel, but you have to be realistic with your list. Don’t overload it with lofty daily goals you know you cannot complete. And when you don’t complete those tasks you feel like a failure. That is not the goal of a to-do list. The goal of the to-do list is to lift your spirits and boost your confidence. Giving you a feeling of accomplishment and progress.

Your project timeline is the overall complete look of what the end product is supposed to be, which leads to another great thing about the to-do list, you can pull segments from your timeline in any order you please, because you know what the end is and you know the pieces needed to reach the prize, the end. This is what you’re stressing about so why not make it easier to reach the finish line and do smaller pieces outlined on your daily to-do list.

Conclusion: So, when you feel unmotivated and lackadaisical, take time out to meditate, journal, and make a plan (the to-do list). Give yourself that much needed mental break so you can correctly refocus your energy and get the desired results. Motivation!

P.S. I offer advice to those who ask for it.

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Author’s note: Thank you for stopping by and giving this a read. Comments are always welcomed.

Please continue to practice social distancing to stay safe and healthy. Be well. Be safe.

Peace and Blessings – CV Davis

© 2020 | CV Davis, All Rights Reserved

Chick Talk (10/09/20)

Chick be talking! Am I right?

For those of you that have followed this segment, you know this is me sharing my wisdom, hoping to enlighten someone who needs to hear what I have to say. Believe me, I have a lot to say. Not to mention, I know a lot of things, some of them important, and some of them are useless facts, but I come packed with years of knowledge to share.

This segment, “Chick Talk”, was started after a conversation I had with oldest daughter, when I jokingly said I should start a blog called “Chick Talk”. She cheered me on, as she often does when it comes to my writing (I adore her for that), so here we are, me sharing and hopefully you caring. So on with it then…

Topic: Living Financially Responsible

In my last excerpt, I talked about my backstory, and it is because of my upbringing that I feel especially knowledgeable about my topic today.

Having grown up in foster care, I had no real role models to look up to. None that were especially savvy when it came to finances, so needless to say, I made hella mistakes with my credit over the years. These mistakes would take me until recently to straighten out and get back on the right track.

Growing up in an urban society where your surroundings are usually filled with those that are struggling everyday to make ends meet, credit and credit scores bare little interest amongst the masses. People are living paycheck to paycheck looking for whatever the easiest hustle is to get by. It is these circumstances that cause people to use creative financing with little regard to what it may do to their credit score in the foreseeable future. It would take me years to figure this out, since I had no role models or no idea on how to fix the mess I had made.

What I am sharing with you today is the result of years of trial and error. Believe me, I got it wrong way more than I got it right until recently. The topic is living financially responsible and what that means for the average American out here trying to survive. It’s not easy being breezy when you’re broke.

The first thing you should know, if you don’t already know, is that your credit is your life. Creditors don’t care if you’re a good person or that you work in the soup kitchen twice a week. Creditors don’t know you from Adam or Eve and could care less about your plight in life, so the only thing they know about you is what your credit history tells them about you. Seeing that this is a one-sided story, it is in your best interest to ensure that your credit story is, well, creditable because it’s the only story creditors are interested in knowing.

Most Americans are living well beyond their means for various reasons, and some of them at no fault of their own, but it is their story. When you are stuck in a financial rut with little knowledge, experience or money to dig yourself out, it’s frustrating and dehumanizing. But I am here to testify that there is a way out and it will not take you years to fix your financial crisis. Following are suggestions I used this year to bring my credit score from the mid 600’s to over 730 in just 10 months, and depending on your situation, these tips may benefit you as well.

  1. Use your tax return to pay all your credit card balances down to zero. The money from your tax return is essentially free money (so to speak), and even though you may have been expecting it, you can treat it like a win-fall and do the right thing and get the creditor monkeys off your back.
  2. Pay all your credit card bills on time, even if you only have enough money to pay the minimum payment for a few months, but whenever possible, pay a little more than the monthly minimum on your credit cards. You want to show that you consistently pay your bills on time, and lets face it, credit cards are typically the only revolving accounts that slam your credit hard when you miss a payment or pay late.
  3. Ask your credit card company for a credit line increase once your balance is paid to zero. If your credit card company increases your credit line it will positively impact your credit score for a couple of reason. One, it shows that your creditors trust you with their money. Second, it lowers your credit to debt ratio, which makes you look like an acceptable credit risk.
  4. Keep your credit card balance at 25% of your credit limit or lower. If you’re able to keep your credit card balances at 25% or lower then creditors know that you’re responsible and will be more willing to extend you higher credit limits in the future. This will also increase your credit score by major points. Use a credit score monitor like Credit Karma to keep track of your financial health.
  5. Think of your credit cards like the cash in your checking account. When the money in your checking account is gone, then you’re broke. The trick is not to spend what you don’t have physically available. If you use your credit card, you need to make sure you have the money to pay it off when your billing statement comes out. Again, creditors love this because it makes you credit worthy and in the future when you need to increase your credit limit, they will gladly do so.
  6. Set-up an additional savings account that is specifically for paying off your credit card bill monthly. This not only ensures that your credit card balance is paid in full every month, but it prevents you from over spending, because like I said above, once the money in the checking account is gone, you’re broke. Not to mention, that most banking institutions don’t charge for an extra savings account.
  7. Pay your credit card balances in full every month to keep from paying exorbitant amounts in interest penalties. This is how credit card companies make their money, and they expect the average person to over extend themselves and have to make payments over several months to either get caught up or to pay the balance off. Don’t give them the satisfaction of getting free money that you broke your back to earn.

The long and short of it is, you have to pay your bills on time. You can’t over extend yourself financially. You have to be smarter than the average bear when it comes to your hard earned dollar. You can’t give free money to the credit card companies, because that’s what they expect and it’s what they look forward to. You have to have a plan or structure in place to protect your credit score.

For the last 10-months (and longer), I paid all my credit reported bills on time. My mortgage, my car note, my revolving credit cards, and personal loans. There were months when I could only pay the minimum payment, but they were paid on time. When I got my tax return, the first thing I did was to immediately used that money to pay all my credit card balances to zero (this is the magic number).

Once I had those zero balances, my credit score shot up 80 points. From mid 600 to over 730. My new found credit-worthy score allowed me to be able to apply for the much coveted Discover credit card and get approved on the spot.

In addition to getting the credit card of my dreams, I requested a credit line increase on one of my existing credit cards and got approved. This did two things; 1) it immediately boosted my credit score another 7 points, and 2) it gave me more clout showing my creditors that I can be trusted to be responsible with the money they are allowing me to borrow when I need it.

I followed the steps I outlined above and it worked. I no longer have huge credit balances over 25% of my credit limit, and I am now able to apply for loans not worried if I’ll get approved.

Having the additional savings account for my monthly credit card payments has stopped me from over spending and being forever indebted to my creditors. Every time I swipe my credit card, I immediately move that money from my checking account into that savings account so I’m ready when that billing statement comes out.

Just remember, to your potential creditors, your credit score is your life story, so protect it, cherish it, and nurture it, because it’s an uphill battle if you have to repair it in the future.

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Author’s note: Thank you for stopping by and giving this a read. Comments are always welcomed.

Please continue to practice social distancing to stay safe and healthy. Be well. Be safe.

Peace and Blessings – CV Davis

© 2020 | CV Davis, All Rights Reserved

Chick Talk (10/01/20)

Let the “Chick Talk” continue, which is based on advice I’ve shared with either my 32 year old daughter and others. The thought for this segment of my blog came from a discussion I was having with my 32 year old daughter, who lives on the east coast. She and I are very close and talk about everything, so I said to her jokingly, I should do a segment on my blog called “Chick Talk” where I’ll discuss life, love, and the pursuit of happiness from a Black woman’s perspective. I’ll share my years of wisdom, trials, tribulations and elation with the masses.

These entries are meant to help those that need to hear them. For those that feel they’re missing something from their lives. For those that just want plain and simple advice from a different point of view. I don’t intend to cure the world of its ills or cure a person of their misfortunes in life, but to share my experiences, ones that may differ from what you traditionally believe in. I want to share what I know and what I’ve learned. That’s it and that’s all. So here we are…

TOPIC: 5-Year Plan

I have previously mentioned that I’m a Black Woman with a lot of information and experience to share with the masses. With that being said, I feel it only necessary to share a little of my back story with y’all. If for nothing else but to prove that I am an authority on offering life advice.

I was born the oldest of my mother’s children and the second oldest of my father’s children. My childhood was not a happy one and I endured a lot of abuse in many different categories. You name it, and I was abused in that way. I grew up primarily in foster care and aged out of the system at age 18. I went to college right out of high school and was ill-prepared so I dropped out.

I had my oldest daughter right before my 21st birthday and my second daughter at age 34. Two years later I decided to return to college to complete my undergraduate degree, earning a B.S. in Business Management with a minor in Communications.

During my second go-around in college, I worked full-time for the government, two part-time jobs, and carried 18 units per semester to get done with my degree. Yes, this was all done while raising two very impressionable girls. I finished college with a 3.2 GPA and used this new degree to promote upwards within the government.

Today, I have been with the government going on 30 years. I continue to look for promotional opportunities and strive to always look for ways to make my life and my children’s lives better.

The 5-Year Plan:

Somewhere during my life I discovered the importance of always having goals. That without some idea of where you’d like to go in life, the longer it will take you to get there when you finally figure it out. It is for this reason that I have always made, kept and updated my 5-Year Plans.

The list changes from time-to-time but is a constant necessity in my life. It was my need to create and have a 5-Year Plan that helped me buy my first house, my car, finish my degree, and continue to advance at work.

This is not to say that you will accomplish everything on your list, but it’s a great idea to have one so you have some measure of your accomplishments and some measure of how well you’re doing with your life’s goals. Besides helping one focus, it holds you accountable for what you said you wanted. No one likes to look at a list and see they’ve made no progress. Am I right?

I think realistically what I can accomplish within 5-years and map it out. I visit my plan a couple times a month to see what I can check off as done, and plan my next attack.

I often give timelines within that 5-years so I have some idea where I should focus my energy next. For me, there is no greater joy than to check something off as being done. Following is my current 5-Year Plan. I hope that this information is helpful and that anyone reading this, takes this advice and make their own list.

Goals for the Next 5 Years (September 2020 – 2025):

  1. Secure an equity line of credit by the end of 2020
  2. Get my student loans in good standing and start paying them off
  3. Get moved into my other house by the end of January 2021
  4. Completely rent out my first house by the end of January 2021
  5. Get a promotion to Manager I by early 2021
  6. Get mine and my youngest passports by the end of January 2021
  7. Purchase my first rental property by early 2021
  8. Take my first out of the county vacation trip by spring 2021
  9. Pay for my youngest college, fall of 2021
  10. Get my credit score over 800, but hoping for closer to 850 by the end of 2021
  11. Help pay for my oldest college if she isn’t done yet (she’s working on her Ph.D.)
  12. Get a promotion to Manager II by the end of 2023
  13. Publish my first book no later than 2023 (currently in the revision stage)
  14. Purchase my second rental property by mid-2024
  15. Obtain a Master’s degree in writing or communications
  16. Start remodeling my first home (ongoing)

FOCUS YOUR LIFE AND ITS INTENTIONS TO ACHIEVE YOUR DESIRES!!!

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Author’s note: Thank you for stopping by and giving this a read. Comments are always welcomed.

Please continue to practice social distancing to stay safe and healthy.

Peace and Blessings – CV Davis

© 2020 | CV Davis, All Rights Reserved