What do I mean by core values, well that’s simple? What motivates you to be who and what you are, what you value in life, yourself, and others. These are your core values. I questioned myself recently when asked this question in the focus group I participate in. We did an exercise where one of the objectives was to list at least three of your core values. I had no problem listing my core values or what’s important to me, but after listing those values, I questioned why these specific values meant so much? What prompted these specific responses from me was a query I needed to investigate. Everything in life should elicit deeper thoughts in our minds when we question why we are the way we are, and these questions should provide insight into our mental psyche. We need only ask the question and then strive to understand and learn from the answers we discover.
My core values, well two of them, are honesty and loyalty. These are the top two values that sprang to mind when asked this question. I asked myself why these two values held more weight than any of the others I provided. I looked at where I’m at in life now compared to where I came from, and it was as clear as a bell to me why these two values hold the weight they do. Honesty is important to me because I’ve lied to more than once in my life, and lied to in situations that could have been life-threatening. This impacted my personality and approach to life so much so, that I value honesty more than I value love or connections with others. For me, honesty leads to later, love, and connection. If I cannot trust someone, to be honest with me, then I cannot have a relationship with them; no matter the type of relationship. I understand being sensitive to other’s feelings, but I’d rather have brutal honesty than lies or misconceptions. The second value I believe in his loyalty. I can’t begin to tell you how many times this trait escapes people. Loyalty is my core value because of the deep compassion I have for others. I believe loyalty and honesty go hand in hand; to uphold the promise of not forsaking those you genuinely care for in their good and bad times. Lack of loyalty from others is just as bad as lying to me because it lacks commitment and love; it is a great betrayal and will end my relationship with those in my inner circle. Don’t betray my trust and we’ll never have any problems.
On a deeper level, these values are residues from my challenging childhood. In some way, I’ve endured lack of honesty and loyalty from those that were supposed to care for and protect me. So I pose this question to you, what are your core values and why do you value them? I implore you to really take the time out to answer this question for yourself, you might learn something about yourself that will allow you to develop and nurture those interpersonal relationships we all strive to have and maintain. The best lessons in life are the questions we ask ourselves and then answer. We grow from our inhibitions, so don’t be afraid to question your reality…
Please Follow and Like – Comments welcomed!
© CV Davis – Author