This list will grow over time as I remember more of some of the funniest things my grandmother ever said to me as I was growing up. It’s a wonder I didn’t need therapy. Oh wait, I did need therapy, scratch that… Here are some sayings and expressions she used that make me laugh when I remember them…
- Ima bust your head down to the white meat!
Meaning: whatever you’re doing, you had better stop or it’s gonna get real bad real quick up in here.
- I will beat the black off you if you don’t stop!
Meaning: you are seconds away from a whooping.
- I brought you into this world, I will take you out!
Meaning: you are in real trouble and are being threatened with instant death.
- I will knock you into the middle of next week!
Meaning: again another whooping threat.
- This world is going to hell in a hand-basket!
Meaning: I have no idea, but it must’ve been serious. And what the hell is a hand-basket anyway?
- You catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar.
Meaning: be nice, it will usually get you what you want.
- Always wear clean underwear because you never know what will happen to you when leaving out the door.
Meaning: it would be embarrassing if you are caught in dirty underclothes in an emergency situation.
- You don’t believe fat meat is greasy.
Meaning: you’ve been told to stop something and been threatened with a spanking, but you keep doing it anyway, so she is going to carry out her threat of a whooping.
- History is his story, so don’t believe everything you read.
Meaning: African-American history is an under-told story and for some reason, our story doesn’t make the textbooks in schools, so learn and know your history.
10. The devil is a liar.
Meaning: someone isn’t being completely honest or something was promised by God and it is being threatened not to come true.
11. You can lead a horse to water but you cannot make him drink.
Meaning: you can’t make someone do something they have no true intentions of doing
12. You don’t miss the water until the well runs dry.
Meaning: you have used up all your apologies and/or free passes and you are now cut-off.
Well, I think that’s enough for now. Until next time.
© CV Davis – Author